Wednesday, December 27, 2006
[*p.EaK.Le$$. mouNt.aiN$*] ...everyday, we are faced with new sets of problems to solve, trials to overcome, tasks to accomplish. my life suddenly seems to be filled with endless amount of work. somehow or rather, i can't seem to be able to complete any task without having another one comimg my way. i can't even have a decent holiday, or was life meant to be like this right from the start? that the moment you were able to think on your own, you'll have endless amount of work to accomplish?
i'm so tired from all the work. so drained from my responsibilities, and it's hard sometimes, when in the midst of all the work, to even feel God in my life. but i have to keep in mind that i should never do anything with my own strength, cos if i do, i'll never succeed. everything i do, i have to do it with God. i don't wanna do it on my own either. it's too draining and tiring. but it's human nature to forget God in the midst of all the work that we do. and i'm sorry for all the times i let God down. for all the times i forgot about Him.
it's less than one week to school and i'm not even prepared. there's still a mountain of things to do, and yet, this mountain seems to have no peak at all, that i could keep climbing, and with all my might and with God's, i just can't seem to reach the summit. maybe there's too many obstacles along the way but surely, this mountain can be conquered?
i don't know what to think or what to feel when it comes to such situations. i'm just overcomed by the stress and pressure to complete my tasks and not let anyone down. and when this happens, i'm just so tired to even carry on. i want a break. i want to let go. but i can't and i will not. i guess it's been in me all this while, that even if it kills me, i will not give up cos it's my responsibility to others. at the end of the day, i'm not a leader who leads, i'm a leader who serves. just like God was a servant king, i wanna be just like Him. not for my own personal glory, but for the glory of God.
anyways, i've come to understand that no matter how hard it seems, God always provides a way. He's done that many times before, and He will continue to do so. yup. so even if i feel that i won't be able to survive nest year, He'll provide a way for me and He'll be with me all the way through.
love,
cheryn ...
posted at 12/27/2006 10:38:00 pm
